


Ring My Love Alarm

by mybluebucketofsnow



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, 좋아하면 울리는 | Love Alarm (TV)
Genre: Baz is still in love, Drinking, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Hook-Up, How did it go to smut so fast, Love Alarm, M/M, Seven Years Later, Simon is exploring his bisexuality, Snow walks into a gay bar, desperate baz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22014511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow
Summary: Carry On x Love Alarm Crossover.Love Alarm is an application that notifies whether someone within the vicinity of a 10-meter radius has romantic feelings for you. This app is a hit in the magickal world, but for the Normals, it’s just another hook-up opportunity, this is how Baz uses it anyway. Till one evening Simon Snow shows up.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 34
Kudos: 209





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [@Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire) for being an amazing beta!

**Baz**

My Love Alarm application pops up with one heart and I carefully look around.

_Someone within the vicinity of a 10-meter radius loves you._

The bar is full of people (well, full of _Normals_ , to be more precise), but it’s easy to spot my target. Red curls, party shirt, naughty smile. This guy is not so bad. He is even cuter than they usually are.

I turn off my phone and the blue screen of Love Alarm disappears. If I am lucky enough, I won’t need it tonight anymore. I finish my drink and stand up, the fake smile already plastered on my face. I’ve done it so many times before, I know the drill by heart at this point.

 _Fuck Alarm_ , that’s how I call it in my head.

The app exploded among magicians two years ago.

_Find your perfect match! Be happy!_

What can I say, magicians are too sentimental and easy to fool when it comes to a question of finding one and true love. We were taught to believe that there is that special bond with one person that will stay through all our lives. So naturally, everyone fell for what Love Alarm promised. In two years I participated in dozens of magickal weddings, full of happy faces and stories about how Love Alarm has matched them with a person they truly loved.

I smiled back, I nodded, but deep down nothing annoyed me more than to hear the same pathetic nonsense over and over again.

That’s when I started to go to Normal bars more and more. In there, people followed the old ways. Useless flirting, one night stands and broken hearts. Nobody stared at their phones, nobody asked me why I didn’t have this stupid app installed and nobody expected me to find a perfect soulmate with the help of a few magic spells tightened together by a smartphone (how trivial, after all).

But within a year they managed to replace magickal parts of the app with math and algorithms, believable enough to push it to the Normal’s world. I expected the same fuss, the same romantic madness, but it never happened.

Maybe the app was not good enough without magickal energy attached or maybe Normals were just not like us. They didn’t care much about love and perfect partner. But they did care about good sex. And sex is never better if it’s based on true emotions, even if those emotions do not last longer then sex itself.

In Normal’s world the Love Alarm quickly became an ultimate hook-up opportunity and that’s when I finally gave up. I learned to use the app the same way as all Normals do - to find a person that likes you well enough to make one night stand easy and enjoyable.

I make my way through the crowd to the smiling redhead. He is even cuter up close and I feel only slightly annoyed when I notice freckles spread all over his nose. 

_Crowley._ I hate when they remind me of _him_. And they so often do. Sometimes those are blue eyes (of the same useless watery colour), sometimes blond curls or freckles. They follow me around and most of the time it’s easier to accept then try to deny, that after all of this time I am still pathetically obsessed with my high school crush.

I look at Redhead’s freckles, but the feeling of resemblance slips away leaving me with only a trace of memory, which is too delicate to try and hold on to tighter.

“Pretty,” I murmur in a low voice. “Do you want a drink?”

He smiles and nods. Is he sweet or fake? I can’t tell anymore. They come and go too quick to remember the pattern.

“Why haven’t you set my Love Alarm on?” He pouts. He turns on his phone and his Love Alarm displays zero. 

I sigh. They always ask that. And I don’t want to explain the truth. Or more precisely, I don’t even know the truth myself. Am I too broken inside to love somebody? Or am I still too deep into the past to care about the present?

“Because I don’t care,” I say. This line always works and it’s true enough not to make me hate myself in the morning.

“That’s alright,” Redhead says (at least he is decent enough not to press any further). “I don’t care either. This App is total shit anyway and its creator is a scam.” 

I clench my teeth. 

“He is not a scam,” I say without much thinking, “I know him.”

Redhead looks impressed. “Wow, do you know Simon Salisbury?”

I shake my head. My roommate, my fire, my disappointment.

“Very remotely,” I say.

And it’s true I don’t think I know Snow anymore. And I am not sure I ever did. He moved to the USA with Wellbelove after Watford seven years ago, because this is what they always wanted, to mix with Normals, to live like Normals.

Hell, he probably created this stupid app just to prove to his blond queen how much he is in love with her. This is what makes me feel sick, this is what keeps me up at night and this is why I lean closer to Redhead and put my arm over his shoulder.

“Your place or mine?” I ask.

And then I freeze. 

The door opens and the familiar sent strikes me. It can’t be. Not in this shitty Normal’s bar. He wears a disguise of course, but I still can recognize the smell, nothing ever will make me forget the way he smells.

I sit too close to the entrance, so when he walks in I can hear his Love Alarm sound. _How stupid,_ I think. After all these years I am still the one to put his Love Alarm on.

He looks up from his phone, he scans the crowd in the bar hopefully, finally his eyes set on me. I am not a celebrity as Snow, I don’t wear any disguise, so he recognizes me immediately. His eyes are going wide.

He looks at me, he looks at Redhead on my shoulder and then he just passes by. 

Almost automatically I check my phone, my Love Alarm is still on one. The same one heart coming from Redhead and that will undoubtedly go away after we will spend the night together.

I close my eyes, I don’t know what I was expecting. Not then, not now had Simon Snow wanted anything to do with me.

**Simon**

“Drink,” Penny says, she pushes a cocktail to me and I drain it in few big gulps. I feel a bit light-headed, my heart still racing like crazy.

“Who said that going to a random gay bar in London is a good idea?” I hiss at her.

Penny sips her cocktail slowly through the straw. “You told me yourself that you want to explore your bisexuality.”

“Not like that!” I say panicked, “Baz Pitch is here.”

“Where?” Penny makes a full turn and looks around the bar, finally settling down on Baz and on the perfect redhead near him. “Oh wow,” she says, “he looks good!”

I give her silence back. Because of course, Baz looks good. He _always_ looks good. His hair is slightly longer now and he is wearing all black: black jeans, black jacket, black button-down.

I take it all in in a matter of seconds, hungrily looking over him, trying to absorb all of him at once. Then my eyes slid back to the screen of my phone.

“Someone in the bar rang my Love Alarm,” I say frowning.

Penny looks at me puzzled. “So? Simon, it happens to you all the time.”

“But I wear a disguise, nobody knows me here,” I say.

My disguise is awesome. Penny cast it on me because I’m still shit with spells. It's basically the same me, but looking stylish and handsome (apparently, that is how you suppose to look when you go to the gay bar). My hair is shorter and shinier, my brows are straight and beautiful and she changed my whole face somehow, so I look more like a model, and less like a geek who got famous overnight by creating an app about _falling in love_.

Penny grins, “Nobody, except for one person.”

“Well, obviously _you_ know that it’s me,” I say and get a kick under the table from Penny.

“Not _me_ , you numpty! Baz is here.” She says. “And he’s _still_ a vampire.”

I know he is _still_ a vampire. Vampirism isn’t just something that can go away overnight. But it’s 2020 and being a Vampire is not a bad thing anymore.

“Penny! You can’t shame people for being vampires!” I say stiffly, “we need to be _inclusive_!” I lower my voice. “Especially in public. People still speculate that I am vampire-phobic.”

Penny rolls her eyes. “I am not _shaming_ anybody. I’m just saying that he recognized you by your smell. He knows it’s you.”

“It doesn’t mean that he ran my Love Alarm. Baz hates me. And,” I look in his direction one more time, “ he is obviously busy.”

Penny looks at Baz whispering something to the Redhead and pulling him closer. 

“Nonsense,” she says. “It can’t be anything serious if he rings your Love Alarm.”

“He. Doesn't. Like. Me.” I say each word separately, to make Penny understand that I mean it.

Penny shakes her head. “How come you don’t believe in the power of our app anymore?”

Of course, I do. The app might be the only thing I believe in. After our graduation from MIT, Penny and I worked on it day and night. She was creating magical parts and I was tidying them together programmatically into a magickal app. We believed in what we were doing. Penny wanted to use it to propose to Shepard, and I- I just needed proof that love existed, that it wasn’t just something people invented out of despair, to make themselves feel a little bit better.

When I left with Agatha to the USA after Watford, I had my hopes high. We made it to Normal universities and we tried to make it work the same way as all Normals did. But there was something wrong. I missed Baz like crazy, I missed our quarrels, our fight and him plotting. I missed his fancy soaps and his mysteries. Suddenly my life became plain and safe, and even though I thought that’s what I wanted, it wasn’t enough.

Love Alarm was my desperate attempt to figure out what my real feelings were, but I just ended up with the sad truth that I never rang Agatha’s Love Alarm and she never rang mine.

We had to live with that truth for a while. Agatha said that it didn’t matter and that we had “more than that”. We decided to wait, to pretend that if we try hard enough things would change. But Love Alarm can’t be fooled and eventually, we broke up. I spent the first month in a haze of disappointment and pain. I missed the comfort, I missed the idea of loving somebody so bloody much.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about Watford. If only I was in terms with my sexuality back then, if only Baz didn’t disappear during our last year... I heard rumours about him here and there. Baz coming out as gay, Baz coming out as a vampire, Baz making the whole magickal world accept who he is.

“Penny,” I say, “of course I believe in our app. But even more, I believe that Baz doesn’t give a shit.”

I know what I’m saying. A year ago I was working like crazy to try to push app in the Normal’s world. I visited England for a few weeks to have a break but ended up going to endless magickal weddings instead. I ran into Baz on one of them.

And nothing happened. He passed me by and my Love Alarm stayed silent (Just to be clear, I didn’t check my Love Alarm _on purpose_ , I just _happened_ to look at the screen when Baz was there). And that was it. I just had to accept he didn’t like me after all and do the only thing I could do - get blackout drunk.

“We should go say hi,” Penny says. “Or people will think that you are rude and vampire-phobic.”

“What people?” I narrow my eyes. “Nobody knows me here.”

“Well, Baz knows. You don’t want him to think that you ignore him on purpose, right?”

 _This is exactly what I want him to think,_ I want to say, but Penny looks as if she would kick me again and I give up. “But I need another drink,” I say.

“Take mine,” Penny pushes her glass to me. She waits patiently while I take a few sips. Her drink is sugary and surprisingly strong. When I stand up, I feel the floor slightly shifting under my feet.

“How did we even end up in the same bar as Baz Pitch?” I say annoyed. “What a stupid coincidence.”

“You can’t exactly call it a coincidence,” Penny says, she still grins as if this is the best thing that _ever_ happened. “I had to stalk him for a few weeks on the internet to find this place.”

“You did _what_?!” I squeak.

“Well, it’s not against the law,” Penny says. She looks smug. “And he wasn’t exactly hiding it. Posting his selfies and tagging locations. Simon, you should explain to him how _internet_ _privacy_ works.”

I open my mouth to point out that it is not my responsibility to explain shit to Baz Pitch, but Penny already drags me to the bar stand where Baz hangs out plastered all over his hot boyfriend.

“Basilton!” Penny says, “What a pleasant surprise!”

Baz turns our way lazily, his gaze slides over me for a moment with no particular interest. (I figure out my disguise isn’t that cool after all, but then again, I never was cool enough for Baz.)

“What a pleasant surprise, indeed,” he says and I almost drown in the sound of his voice. “Long time no see. Bunce, Snow.”

“Is your name really Snow?” Redhead says. Upclose he is even more gorgeous. (And the worst part is that he looks like that without any disguise applied.)

“My name is Simon,” I say. “Nobody calls me Snow anymore,” I say it to Baz, but he doesn’t even look my way. He is too busy sliding his right hand over the Redhead’s thigh.

“Oh cool,” Redhead says, “so you guys are friends from school.”

“We were many things,” Baz says lazily (I still can’t get enough of how posh his voice sounds. How could I ever forget that he has an accent?). “But not friends.”

I feel my hands shake and make another sip before turning to Redhead. “And you?” I snap at him. “How do you know Baz?”

“We just met through the Love Alarm.” He says and chuckles, “You know, this stupid app.”

Baz coughs (it sound suspiciously like laughter.) Penny tugs me on a sleeve. I try not to explode with anger.

“I heard you are a professor now,” Penny says to Baz (she was always good with changing the topic), “congratulations.”

I knew he is a professor. And not only that. He created his own department of Social Vampire Studies and he is a lead researcher on the topic. (Obviously, I know way too much about Baz.)

“Thank you,” Baz says and then he adds mockingly, “I heard you created an app.”

“Wow, really?” Redhead jumps in. “Do you work in tech? So cool! What is your app about?”

“Nothing worse mentioning,” I say. (I don’t need to explain anything to _him_.) 

“You are too modest.” Baz says with menace, “his app is about _love_.”

“Is it like Love Alarm?” Redhead says amused, “Good God! Finally, someone is there to replace them. This app is so shitty.”

“How is it shitty?” I ask my voice too loud. (I realize all too late that I shouldn’t have drunk so much alcohol on an empty stomach.)

Redhead shrugs. “Everybody knows it’s a scam. It never works properly. People just use it to hook-up in bars.”

Now it’s my turn to hold Penny back. She hates the fact that Love Alarm doesn’t work properly in the Normal’s world. She still thinks that it is her fault somehow.

Baz notices the danger too. “Darling,” he says to the Redhead, “Can you please fetch us some drinks.”

“Sure,” Redhead says, he looks with doubt on a half-full glass in Baz’s hand. And then he adds pouting, “But I thought we were about to leave soon.”

Baz gives him a reassuring smile, and I clench my teeth tighter.

“So this is what Professor of Social studies does in a Normal’s gay bar every night?” I snap at Baz when Redhead finally leaves swinging his hips. “Hooks up with random Normals?”

Penny looks between us, “I will go get a drink too.” She leaves and Baz takes a step closer.

“If you are aware that this is a gay bar,” Baz smirks. “Then what are you doing in here yourself?” 

“I’m exploring,” I say, feeling my cheeks burning. “And it’s none of your business.”

“No, it’s not,” Baz says, his voice cold again.

But then something changes in his face and he leans closer. He smells like expensive soap and alcohol. “What exactly is Simon Snow _exploring_?”

I feel my pulse beating hot in my ears. His voice sounds deep and seductive, but in the next moment, I convince myself that I am just imagining things.

“Someone rang my Love Alarm,” I say. “And I want to know who it was.”

Baz takes a step back. There is again all this distance between us. “I see, testing your app.” He takes a few sips from his drink. “Does it even work after all?”

“Of course, it does!” I sound offended.

“Is it how you knew you were in love with Wellbelove?” He says absently, almost as if he doesn’t care, but for me, it feels like a stab with a knife.

“This is how I knew I _wasn’t_ in love with her,” I say quietly. Baz looks at me with surprise and I add, “We broke up last year.”

“Oh.” He says, “last year.” He pauses. His face going dark. “I see. So nobody rang your Alarm since then?”

“A lot of people did,” I say. I don’t want to sound as if I am bragging, but apparently, I do, because Baz raises his eyebrow ironically

“So, is it how it feels be famous?”

“Is it how it feels to be a Vampire?” I snap back, I nod towards the direction where Redhead disappeared. I see Baz eyes going wide for a second and I regret my words immediately.

“Snow,” he says, “It’s not a secret anymore. You can’t hunt me down the same way as you did at Watford.” He puts an empty glass on the stand and I can see dark circles under his eyes. Suddenly I wonder, how many drinks he already had.

“I am not against vampires,” I say.

“Of course you’re not,” Baz’s voice sounds annoyed. “You are just against me.”

“I am not,” I say. “And I am sorry for how it used to be back then.”

He makes a vague gesture with his hand. “You were the Chosen One, I was the vampire. There was no chance for us anyway.”

 _Chance_. I wonder what he means by that. I feel my heart beating faster. I have a crazy idea all of a sudden to ask him directly if it could be him who my Love Alarm after all. _Or_ , I can just drag him somewhere with fewer people and check if one heart remains.

“Baz,” I ask, “do you want to step out for a moment?”

He looks at me tired.

“If you want to _explore_ , or whatever else you are doing here, Snow, find somebody else. I am not up for your games anymore.”

I clench my fists. Five minutes with Baz and I’m back to how I used to be at Watford. Angry, helpless and ready to go off.

“You are right,” I say. “We never had a chance.”

I am not waiting to see what Baz would reply. I turn around and march back to my table. When Penny comes back I already have my coat on, ready to leave.

“What happened?” She asks. “I thought you and Baz had a _moment_.” Her voice doesn’t sound amused anymore, it sounds sad. 

“Nothing happened,” I look through the distance of the bar, where Baz used to stand. He is not there anymore and I can’t see Redhead either.

“They left,” Penny says.

I am not disappointed. I refuse to let myself get disappointed.

“Together?” I ask. I stare at my feet.

Penny doesn’t say anything. And I do the only thing left to do. I pull out my phone and click the Love Alarm icon. The screen goes into familiar blue. There is number zero in the middle.

_No one within ten meters radius loves you, Simon Snow._

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Simon**

“I need to go to that bar again,” I say to Penny. We sit together in the kitchen of our shiny new office in London. I sip coffee from my cup with Love Alarm logo on it.

“Why?” Penny says, “You said a million times yourself that Baz is an arrogant arse who almost set you off _again_.”

I blush a little bit at that. I don’t like these mentions of “Baz” and “arse” in one sentence. It makes me think about inappropriate things. (And Penny knows that.) “Because you refuse to give me any info about his online profiles. And this bar is the only place I actually know that he goes to.”

“Simon, I didn’t give you any of his profiles since we both know you can’t be trusted with anything Baz-related. You might get too involved and get us in trouble.”

“I won’t get too involved!” I say, my voice scandalized.

Penny rolls her eyes. “You _are_ already too involved. You’ve been talking about Baz non-stop for the last week. It’s like Watford all over again.”

“Fine!” I say. “I will go to that bar alone and show you that I am not involved at all.”

Penny sighs. Her sigh is completely exaggerated and unnecessary. Because it’s fine. I will go to the bar again, see Baz and figure out if he is the one to ring my Love Alarm. As simple as that.

“At least let me cast a disguise on you. If your ass will end up in trouble people won’t recognize that it’s you.”

I nod. Before I go out that night we lock ourselves in an office lavatory and Penny casts a disguise spell on me. I like how her magic feels and it works even better than the last time. When I look in the mirror I think I look hot. (Will Baz think I’m hot? Last time he wasn’t impressed at all.)

An hour later I walk into the bar and it doesn’t take long to see that Baz is there too. First I feel relieved. That’s before I notice another guy by his side. He has a cut sleeves tank top and muscles and Baz’s hand slides over his arm. Jealousy strikes me like a knife.

I immediately regret that my outfit looks so plain, just a boring checked blue and grey button-up (Merlin, why didn’t Penny spell my clothes to something fancy?) Meanwhile, Baz looks gorgeous as hell. He wears all black again and his jeans are so tight that it’s almost a crime. (Is it how you’re supposed to dress when you a vampire? Penny says that I should stop identifying him like that and I agree because Baz is so much more.)

I keep on staring at Baz and I know he notices me too because he is pulling the tank-top guy closer wherever I look his way. And I can’t keep on lying to myself that I don’t care at all. Because I do. I so fucking do.

I know I’m ridiculous. I still have no proof that it’s him. But my Love Alarm is pulsing with one heart and it gives me some courage.

I push through the crowd to where Baz is standing. There are only a few meters between us now, but I have no idea what to do next.

“Can I get you something?” The bartender gives me a sympathetic smile. He is cute. And I know my disguise works because there is a flicker of interest in his eyes.

“I will have the same he’s having,” I point at Baz. 

Baz doesn’t notice me at all, he is too busy making out with the tank-top guy. I clench my fists, it was a terrible idea to come here, I didn’t find out anything, except for the fact that Baz couldn’t care less about me. 

“Is it your ex?” Bartender asks casually.

“How- _Why?_ ” I splatter.

“I worked as a bartender for a few years. I know how people look at their exes.” He puts a drink in front of me, sparks of light dancing inside the brown liquid.

I move my finger over the rim of a glass. “No. He is just- He is just a guy who rang my Love Alarm.”

He shakes his head disapprovingly. “I don’t believe in those apps. If that guy is into you then why is he here with another?” Bartender gives a meaningful look at Baz direction and I shrug. We are all supposed to make our own choices. And it’s pretty obvious at this point that his choice is not me. 

I give my drink a try, but almost spit it all out. Merlin and Morgana, what kind of poison is Baz drinking?

“Neat scotch,” Bartender looks at my scornful face and smiles. “Not your thing?”

I smile back at him.

In the corner of my eyes, I see Baz looking my way. (Did I really had to spit my drink over the bar to make him finally notice me?)

“I usually prefer something sweeter,” I say. I lean on the bar counter and open the top button of my shirt casually. “It’s too hot in here.”

I might not be experienced enough, but at least I can recognize when another person is interested. Bartender leans closer and whispers in my ear. “Forget this guy, I see him here every week with a different person. You can do so much better.” He makes a meaningful pause. Then he says a bit louder. “How about I will exchange your drink with a dirty martini? On the house.”

“Anything _dirty_ is fine,” I say. I am surprised by my own boldness. (Maybe it’s a disguise that is speaking, not me. Yes, Penny’s magic is that good.)

“And this drink you can send to a gentleman over there,” I say, turning Baz direction. To my surprise, this time he is not stuck with his tongue deep inside another guy’s throat as he was just a few minutes ago. No, he is staring at me, his face dark and determined.

I start to sweat (is it really hot in here?) and open another button. That makes Baz eyes go a bit wider and he bends down to whisper something into the other guy’s ear.

Bartender puts a new drink in front of me and I take a sip. It’s sweet, but it’s strong too. I don’t think I mind. (I am a good drinker, once I drank three martinis is a row and I was still able to stand up, or at least Penny says so, I don’t remember the evening that well.)

“Why are you here _again_?” Baz says over my ear. He stands behind my back and I haven’t even noticed how he got there. (I forgot how quiet he can be.)

I shudder. Merlin _his voice_. Did he always have a voice like that?

“The same reason as you,” I say. “To have fun.”

“Stop flirting with the bartender,” Baz growls into my ear. “And button your shirt up.”

“Or else?” I lean back into his voice. He moves closer to my ear, and I can almost feel his breath on the back of my neck.

“Or else I will teach you how to behave.” His voice is low and the sound of it makes my heart beat faster even before the meaning of what he is saying catches up with my mind. _Is he saying what I think he is saying?_

“Is it your pick-up line?” I narrow my eyes. “Where is the tank-top guy?”

Baz grins. “I told him I’m busy with someone else tonight.”

“And that’s it?” I say. “Is it how it’s usually done?”

He puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me around. The first thing I can see is a smirk on his face. “Snow, are you sure you want to know...” he pauses, “ _how it’s usually done?_ ”

I gasp. I didn’t realize he is standing so close. Now when I can see him right there, in front of me, it is much harder to pretend that I only came here out of slight curiosity. All I can feel is this excitement of finally having Baz near. Even if it’s only for one night, even if for him I’m no different from anyone else.

“Let me guess,” I say. “A drink, a flirt and a shag?” I stare right into his eyes. They are the same silver-grey as at Watford, cold with menace and hot with a challenge.

“I like your trail of thought.” He says lazily. “And I assume we are already past the drink and the flirting.”

I stare at him stunned. Is it that easy for him? Am I that easy?

When he moves closer I want to take a step back, but there is nowhere for me left to go. I am trapped with my back pressed tight over the bar stand. Am I just like _them_? Am I just like any other bloke in this damn bar that Baz ever slept with?

“I assume we are,” I say, my voice hoarse. I have no idea how to hide my nervousness or how damn inexperienced I really am. 

Baz grins mockingly, “Unless you want to flirt with me a bit more.”

 _More?_ Have I ever flirted with _Baz_? Do I even know how to flirt with him? All I ever knew was to fight him. In Watford I spent years following him around, trying to discover him plotting, but now looking back I see that my obsession was much deeper and complicated that I let myself believe.

I guess some things never change. I still want to follow him around and I still want to fight him, the only difference is that I want to win this time.

“Flirting is overrated,” I put my hand on his arm, feeling his body radiating heat through the thin fabric. “I would prefer to go straight to the fun instead.”

For a moment Baz freezes. His face is a mask I can’t read at all. Then he puts his drink on the counter and with that movement for a moment his body is pressed to my side. He leans closer.

“Go to the lavatory,” he says. “And wait for me there.”

Baz

Am I crazy? Am I actually bloody crazy?

Did I just order Simon Snow to go and wait for me in the _lavatory_ ? And did he bloody _agree_?

Did I drink too much or did I simply lose my mind?

I know what he thinks of me. That I am just a tosser that will shag anybody. I mean, yes, I do have sex with a lot of people, but, Crowley, not in the _lavatory_. At least I am usually decent enough to invite them over.

But Snow said it himself, he is here to have fun. And I can be the one to provide the service. Last time I was foolish enough to not take a chance. Yes, he doesn’t ring my Love Alarm, but who cares? I might have been too proud back then, I don’t have any pride left. Especially not after Snow almost threw himself at the bartender right in front of my eyes.

I simply panicked. I suggested the loo because I never thought Snow would agree to go home with me (and of course he wouldn’t invite me over either, I am not that important). It was easier to play it off as a joke than to make myself believe that it can be something real and later be brutally disappointed.

But, Crowley, why did he even agree? Can’t he see what a mess I am?

He said he wants to explore, but I can’t let him do it with anybody else, I can’t lose Snow again. At least not tonight.

I ask for a glass of water and drain it immediately. I don’t think it’s enough to calm me down or to make me think clearly. Because this is actually happening. After all this time I can finally put my hands on Simon Snow and he will let me. So what if for him it’s just a one-time thing? I knew a long time ago that I will take anything he is willing to give me.

I push through the crowd to the lavatory and on the first look around there nobody there.

“Fuck.” I breathe out and put my hands on a sink.

It shouldn’t surprise me so bloody much. Because of course, Snow is not interested enough in whatever service I might provide to actually wait for me here. Or it probably was just a prank anyway. Bravo, Snow for making me believe you. To remind me all over again what a bloody fool I actually am.

“Baz?” his voice comes from one of the stalls and in an instant all my previous thoughts disappear. He is here after all. He is bloody here. This is not just my imagination or my seventh-year fantasy hunting me from the past.

I look around involuntarily. Crowley, this place is disgusting. I can’t believe that my first time with Snow will happen here. But at the same time, I feel so excited, that I almost don’t care.

“Snow?” I push the door to the stall open and he is sitting there his hair a mess and his eyes are looking right at me.

I know the first thing that I need to do. I take his chin in my hand and jerk his head up. “Cast your disguise away.”

I am so damn tired of this perfect mask. I didn’t see Snow’s face in seven years. I need to see the real him and this need is as urgent as the need to breathe air. 

“I can’t.” Snow cheeks flush red and for a moment I think that he hides behind disguise because this whole thing means nothing and because that way it’s easier for Snow to pretend that it’s not him with me right now. And probably my face goes to stone because Snow looks at me worried and explains. “I am still shit with spells, you see.”

He is uncomfortable. It’s like all the eagerness is flushed off his face and he is sitting there tensed and confused.

 _Shit_. I should have guessed. Snow being famous doesn’t mean that his magickal skills are any better.

“Can I do it for you?” I take out my wound and Snow nods. I cast the spell carefully, almost as if I am drying his face with a silk handkerchief. The touch of my magic is light and gentle. I hope he is not disgusted with how it feels. It’s him and me after all, and nothing I did to Snow ever felt good to him.

The illusion goes away one layer after another and behind all of that, there is his skin and freckles and a thin path of moles along his neck. I’ve been dreaming to lick them since our seventh year in Watford. Can I do it now? (I’m still bothered that I might scare him off). I just carefully trace my fingers along the tender skin of his neck and see his eyes going wide. I wonder if it’s from surprise or desire.

“Snow,” I move my fingers further down his neck to his open collar and pop off one more button, “This is completely un proper.”

I see a glimpse of his chest and his slightly pink collarbone. Crowley, he is so hot.

I am still worried that this is too little. That I am too little. I owe him something better, something bigger. Not this dirty floor and sticky walls. But then again why do I keep on imagining that Snow needs something more from _me_?

“If I cared about proper I wouldn’t be here”. He says and pulls me by my waste. I take a step closer, my crotch is right near his face. This is bad. This is definitely very very bad. I can’t have the Chosen One sucking me off in a public loo.

“Can I?” He unfastens my belt with few determined moves, his hands looming over my zipper.

I take a sharp breath in. “Crowley, stop asking questions and suck me off already.”

I am already hard and I can’t waste any more time by talking. I can feel Snow’s hot breath on my crotch when he unzips me. He palms me through the fabric of my pants and I think I will drop dead right there from him touching me. I mean, those are Simon’s Snow hands rubbing my cock. And he was and he is the most special one. His every gasp and moan is like a small miracle that I don’t deserve to witness.

“Is it good?” He licks me through the fabric and I gasp for air. I can’t let him win. Not this time. I take a handful of his hair and push his head closer.

“Suck properly.”

I let him go and wait for his reaction. For a moment I am afraid that I went too far, but when Snow looks up there is only excitement in his eyes. 

“Are you the same arsehole with everyone?” He grins. He starts to stroke me through the fabric.

“Wanker,” I say. 

Of course, I’m not like that with _everyone_. Can’t he see that I am dying here? Even the slightest touch that he makes is enough to kill me and send me to heaven.

And then when he finally takes me in his mouth it’s like our old fight all over again. His throat is tight and hot and pushing inside of him is like winning or maybe it’s like losing — either way, I don’t really care. One of my hands is on the wall for the balance, the other is in Snow’s hair and before I come I grab onto him tighter, making one last desperate push.

“ _Fuck_ ,” I come in his mouth, watching him swallow and that is the last thing I see before there is only a rainbow behind my closed lids and pleasure and hot realization of what I just did and that Simon Snow is still holding my cock in his mouth. And that apparently he liked it so bloody much that he is willing to stay like this for some time, at least till I’m ready to come back to earth from heaven, pat him on his hair and pull out.

“How was it?” Snow wipes his mouth with his hand, lips are red and swollen. I stare at him for a moment puzzled. How can he even ask something like that? He was bloody amazing. Just the right mixture of awkward and brave. Crowley, he was as good as I always imagined him to be.

All I want to do is bend down and kiss him. But this is not the right place and I don’t know what he wants anyway.

I take a step back instead and lean on the wall. (I need that damn wall, after all, my limbs are still cotton.)

“You were adequate,” I say. I am well enough to remember that I’m nothing more than Snow’s “exploring phase.” But even with that, I am decent enough to ask. “Can I offer my service back?”

Snow nods, with hunger in his eyes. (Is he hungry for me or for a blowjob?). And somewhere deep down all I ever want is for him to look at me like that all the time. How ridiculous and obvious I bloody am?

“Do you want to switch?” he stands up and finally his face is the same level as mine. I can see his freckles and his mouth and I am afraid that there is not much time left. I will suck him off and he will leave and this might be my last chance after all.

I pull him by the collar and crush my lips over his. The kiss is messy and quick and I am barely satisfied before I let go.

“My place,” I breathe out. Because even if it’s our last time together, I can still win a few hours. Of him, of me, of this desperate attempt to pretend that we are more than just a zero on a light blue screen of my phone.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter somehow shifted into smut really quick. But there is so much tension between Baz and Simon, it just couldn't go any other way. I had no control over them :3 Hope, you still liked it! Thank you so much for reading and for commenting, it made me so happy <3


	3. Chapter 3

I drag Snow outside from the bar. The wind is blowing and it might rain any second, but I don’t care. I don’t know how it happened, but I ended up holding his hand. When we wait for a cab I feel my head spin. Either from the drinks or from the fact that Simon is still here with me. This is such a revelation. Am I really standing in the middle of the street of London holding his hand in mine?

When a cab arrives I let go. It’s awkward when we get inside. I give a cab driver my address and there is not much to say after that.

Snow’s silence makes me dizzy. Could it be that he regrets the whole thing after all?

I turn his way and smirk. “If you want to get out we can stop on any corner.”

“If you say that to all of your hook-ups,” He lightly bumps my knee with his, “I am wondering how you manage to get any action at all.”

“You will be surprised, Snow,” I say grumpily. Now his knee is rubbing over mine and I am annoyed with how bloody excited it makes me feel.

Next thing I know Snow puts his hand on my thigh, his touch burns me through the fabric and when he slowly slides his hand up it feels like a very specific kind of torture designed by the universe to make me go crazy.

“Snow,” I hiss, “Stop it. The driver is watching.”

He laughs. “I never expected Baz Pitch to be such a prude.”

Is Snow playing with _me_? Does he even know _who_ he is playing with?

Usually, I wouldn’t mind getting a quick hand-job in a cab, but this time it’s different. It’s Simon Snow after all and I already managed to screw up our first time around. Even if it doesn’t matter for Snow, it still matters for me. I might not have another chance to do it in a proper way. I owe it to him, I owe it to the both of us.

I put my hand on his crotch and lightly stroke him through the fabric. He takes a sharp breath in and I lean closer to his ear. “I can suck you off right in this fucking car if you are kin of that.”

I know am lying. I won’t do it. I can’t let Snow go off that easy. Not when we are on the way to my apartment and I can finally have him for longer.

He is hard. I can feel it through the thin fabric of his cargo pants.

“Lesson number one,” I say, “Don’t wear boxers on the date night.” I stroke him harder a few more times more, enjoying how his hardon feels over my hand.

“Merlin, Baz,” Snow breathes out with a moan. He throws his head back, exposing his throat, then he swallows. His Adam apple goes up and down and I almost lose my mind at the picture.

“Patience,” I say both to him and to myself. I take my hand away and Snows stays there exposed and helpless, while all I can think about is that I want to kiss him, long and throughout. Last time was too brief and merely enough to give me the slightest taste of how good it might be. But I can’t kiss him, not yet. Sometimes things that we want the most are the hardest to do.

“How far away do you live?” Snow shifts on his seat. I wonder if I’m foolish enough to believe that this time he might be the one to kiss me first. But he doesn’t and I am not bold enough to do it myself. I am never bold enough when it comes to Snow.

It looks like he forgot that his hand is still on my thigh. I hope he won’t move it higher, because then I would be too bloody obvious. I am hard as well, but who can blame me? I mean, Crowley, _I was just holding Snow’s cock in my hand._

It felt amazing. I want to get a better grip, and the only thing that keeps me from doing it right here in a taxi is the fact that I want it to be _more_. I want to give Snow an experience that he will never forget. I want to have my way with him so that even in a week he will still reach for his cock and jerk off on the memory.

I know I am nothing special, but this couple of hours might be. At least, I am not delusional enough to hope that Snow will stay the night. He and his fucking Love Alarm made it perfectly clear where we are.

When we arrive Snow doesn’t look comfortable. He stays at the door, while I turn the lights on.

“Nice apartment,” he looks around, his eyes lingering on a huge sofa in the middle of my living room. “Is it-” he coughs slightly. “Nevermind.”

“Yes, Snow. That’s where I fuck everybody, why?” I go inside and stay in the middle of the room. Suddenly there is all this distance between us and I hope if he still wants to get the fuck out of here, then he will be fair enough to do exactly that.

But the sad truth is that I would do almost anything to make him stay (I never want him to leave). I would throw this sofa out the window if it would help him relax even a little bit. “Get in here,” I say, my voice soft. “I will make you a drink.”

I turn around and go to the corner of the room where my minibar is. I fix two gin tonics, standing my back to the door. I still give Snow some space to change his mind and quietly leave. When I turn around I almost expect to find him gone, but he’s not. Instead, he took his sneakers off and his socks are red and I stare at his feet as if we are seventeen again and I all I want is either to bite him or to kiss him.

“I know you ring my Love Alarm” He takes a few steps inside and I freeze with both drinks in my hands. “I checked it in the taxi.”

I don’t look his way when I take a sip from my drink. I have no idea why he has to bring it up again or why he is lacking common decency to avoid talking about Love Alarm in front of me. We are so obviously unequal — it’s me who is in love with him, not the other way around. The humiliation of the fact strikes me the same way as it did back at Watford when we were kids and I was dwelling on the desperation of my one-sided feelings.

Of course, it’s all about the ego of great Simon Snow all over again. How can I forget that he needs a constant reminder that he is the best between the two of us?

“It’s just a hook-up app,” I come closer to Snow, passing him his drink. I am not the same as at Watford. I don’t belong to my feelings anymore. They don’t define me. I can laugh and I can smile and when he’ll leave me behind, I won’t care about my pain at all. “It will go away in the morning.”

For some time Snow stays silent, and he takes his drink, I try not to notice that he avoids touching my fingers.

He looks at me miserably and shakes his head. “Baz,” he says, “This is not how this app works.”

I take a deep breath in. What is he trying to prove? That I don’t have any chance at all?

“I used it a lot, Snow. I know how it works pretty well too.” I sit on the sofa and stretch my legs, the ice clicking in my glass. “It will go away. Now finish your drink and get over here. We still have some business to attend.”

Snow looks around nervously, there is plenty of space on the sofa by my side, but he chooses the stool near the minibar. He stares at bottles and glasses.

“Can I have a glass of water? I am… I am a bit dizzy.” 

“Help yourself,” I hope I didn’t overdo it with Snow. I don’t want him drunk, I want him to _remember_.

He opens a small fridge under the minibar and we both freeze for a moment. It’s full of my bottles with blood. They shine dark red under the light and Snow immediately snatches his hand away.

“Water is in the kitchen, Snow.”

“What is this?” His says, splattering. “Is it… Is it _human_ blood?”

“This is lab blood,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm (I have no idea why his ignorance still hurts me). “We came up with a formula at my university department.”

“Who’s we?” Snow says his voice suspicious. “Other vampires?”

I raise an eyebrow. I think he still dreams to kill every one of us in England.

“Other _students_ ,” I say dryly.

The look crosses Simon’s face that I couldn’t quite read.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He says. “Don’t you want to drink some?”

“Why not?” I shrug. If Snow wants to see me drink blood I don’t mind. I am not ashamed of what I am anymore. “Pour me into one of the glasses.”

He brings me a glass with blood and immediately retreats back to his seat. I take a few gulps, colouring my lips dark red. Usually, I avoid feeding in front of other people, moreover, in front of people I am planning to have sex with. But with Snow it’s different. It’s incredibly stupid that after all of these years I am still struggling for his validation, I want him to see who I really am, even if it will push him away forever.

“How does it taste like?” He says.

“It tastes like blood, Snow. Do you expect it to taste like a cranberry juice?” I feel my fangs pop up and I sneer at him, hoping that Snow will see them too.

He stares at me in that intense way, that leaves me open and vulnerable. I still wait for him to turn away. I don't expect Snow could bear with me drinking blood right in front of him.

“You never showed me your fangs before.” Snow says, his eyes never leaving me.

“I imagine if I did it at Watford you will gladly report me to their removal.”

“I think I wouldn’t,” Snow says slowly. It’s almost like he tries to convince himself. “I mean, I would never do something like that to you. And... And this thing that you did with coming out as a vampire and with your studies. It’s really awesome.”

I feel sudden warmth spreading inside of me. Yes, I was accepted by a magical world a few years ago, but being accepted right now by Snow is something else completely. It’s like the weight that was holding me through all of these years is finally gone and I can breath full force.

“Thank you,” I say. My glass is empty and I carefully place it on a sofa table. “I will go fetch us some water.”

I sneak into the bathroom on my way to the kitchen. I quickly brush my teeth and rinse my mouth, I don’t want Snow tasting blood when we’ll be kissing. _If_ we’ll be kissing. The more time passes the further away the possibility seems.

Then for a few minutes I stare at the water running from the tap, trying to think about nothing at all. I need time to breathe. I need time to adjust to this kind of reality where Snow doesn’t despise me for being a vampire, or at least I let myself believe that he doesn’t.

I look up and watch myself in the mirror. It’s the same old me with grey pale skin, lifeless eyes and shadows underneath them. Is it possible that Snow can finally accept me for what I am? And if yes, how can it affect our relationship?

I sneer at myself. _Crowley, Baz._ What kind of relationship we might have except for the one night stand and even that now seems like a farfetched possibility.

When I bring back water to the living room, Snow is still on his stool. He is checking his phone and from the sound that it makes, I know he is checking his Love Alarm again. Does he need a constant reminder of how desperate I am? I thought I am obvious enough as it is.

“Why are you in London, Snow?” I place both glasses on the minibar and wait for him to take one.

“Or, didn’t I tell you? We have a new London branch, new office and everything. So I moved here for a while.”

The thought of having Snow in London unsettles me in a way I can’t explain. Having him here, in the same city, shouldn’t change anything between us, but there is still a jolt in my heart that betrays me.

“And then?”

He laughs. “And then… I don’t know it depends if I will like it here.”

I know it’s not about me, but I am still stupid enough to say, “Well, if there is something I can do-“ then I stop. We both know _what_ I’ve already promised him to do tonight.

Snows cheeks flush red.

“It might be nice to have more friends around, I’ve been mostly hanging out with Penny and-”

“And in gay bars,” I say annoyed. I don’t even know how I was moved to a friend zone so bloody fast.

“Penny said it might be a good idea for me to explore more… after my breakup with Agatha.”

“Good luck with that,” I say, clinking my glass in a table.

“I mean-” Snow twitches. “This was for the first time, but today… Today I came just because I wanted to see you again.”

“Why?” I look at him stunned. I don’t believe him. I don’t _let_ myself believe.

He lowers his head. “I wanted to see if you still ring my Love Alarm.”

 _Bloody hell._ Of course, it’s not about me, it’s about this stupid app again. 

“I hope your curiosity is fulfilled. Next time you can find somebody else to experiment with.”

I stand up and take a few steps towards Snow.

“You have some blood on your t-shirt,” I brush my finger over two small red droplets on the fabric. It’s a little bit under from where his heart is.

“Baz-” He starts, but I shake my head.

“I will bring you something to change.” I want to get out of this room. I don’t want to share the same space as Snow anymore. It’s too painful and real.

And hopefully, when I will be back, he will find his way out.

“Can I… Can I go with you?” He asks unsurely. “I want to see how your bedroom looks like.”

I raise my eyebrow. I never let my one night stands in my personal space. And based on what Snow said he’s no different from anybody else.

“ _Please._ ” He takes my hand and presses my palm to where his heart beats. Crowley, he is _so_ alive. He is a definition of life itself. He is everything I will never be, but he still likes me well enough to go with me to my bedroom. And once again I don’t care about his reasons. I’m too weak for him.

“Why not? This is why you came here after all.” I snatch my hand back, and turn around, leaving him standing behind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Simon**

I might be drunker than I thought I should be. That last gin tonic was definitely a mistake. But on the other hand, dizziness helps me to block all the things off my head that I am currently not able to fully process. Like the fact that I hooked up with Baz or, to be more precise, that I _sucked him off,_ and yes, it happened in a public toilet of a gay bar in London _._

It’s just like Penny says, when it comes to Baz I definitely get too involved. I came to the bar to check if he was the one to ring my Love Alarm and I ended up at his place, because he kissed me and, _Merlin_ , I keep thinking about it and I am constantly aroused and I desperately want us to do the same things that we started to do in the cab. I want his hands on me again. I want him to want me. But even more than that I want him to _like_ me.

Everything spins around me a little bit, as I follow Baz to his bedroom, even though he obviously doesn’t want me to. But this is familiar, after all, I know really well how to follow him around. And apparently I know really well how to annoy him too.

He barely says anything to me while we are on our way. I keep on reminding myself that he rang my Love Alarm, so he has to like me at least a little bit. Or maybe that one heart went away already? Could I’ve fucked things up so quickly? I want to take out my phone and check it again, but I am afraid Baz will notice. He gets annoyed whenever I check my Love Alarm in front of him. I should get used to the fact that he hates my application, but it’s still pretty painful to know that he thinks so low about everything that I do.

When we step in his bedroom a million memories float over me instantly. This room smells the same way as _our_ room used to smell. _Cedar and bergamot_. It’s almost like I am back at Watford. Almost like he just stepped out from a shower and we would fight over the open window again.

Of course, there is one bed instead of two. But if everything will go well we won’t need a second bed tonight. I try to catch his eyes, to understand if he is still into that, if he is still into me. He doesn’t look my way. Merlin, I wish I was sober enough to know what he is thinking.

“Your place is not that big,” I say, watching Baz heading to his wardrobe. 

Baz turns around and raises his eyebrow. “What a precise observation, Snow.”

“I mean...” I splutter, “I thought you are leaving in a mansion or something.” 

Yes, knowing Baz, I was expecting to see a palace hidden inside urban London, but in reality, it’s far from that. It’s just a few rooms apartment of moderate size and it’s not even _posh._ The interior inside is simple and minimalistic, but there is something that makes the whole place feel like it belongs to Baz and nobody else. I recognize him in every piece of furniture and I feel safe. I love being surrounded by the things that he owns. I missed sharing the same space with him almost as much as I missed his indifference.

“Are you disappointed, Snow?” Baz says coldly from behind his shoulder. I shake my head, but he can’t see, he doesn’t look my way anymore.

“How long have you been living here?” My question sounds dull and meaningless directed at his back. I am desperate to know more about his life, but I am shit with words and I don’t know how to ask about things that are important. For seven years I only heard distant rumours about Baz (I had to interrogate Penny for hours, ending up only with a few meaningless facts) and now, when I can finally talk to him and ask him things I have no idea how to put into words what I want to know.

“Five years,” Baz goes throw his wardrobe, his voice muffled. “Since I moved out of my Father's house.” 

“Was he ok with you… with you-” I stumble and see how Baz’s posture becomes stiff for a moment.

“With me being gay or a vampire? He knew about both, but he wasn’t ready for others to know. We haven’t talked that much for the last couple of years.”

He turns around throwing a piece of fabric my way and when I catch it I am surprised to see that it’s his old Watford football sweatshirt.

Does Baz want me to change in front of him? I’m not sure that I can pull it off. Of course, I changed in front of him a million times before. But now it’s different, maybe because his gaze is following my every move and it is leaving my skin burning. There is a question in his eyes and it feels like a test, but I have no idea what to do to pass it.

“Nice room,” I say nervously and look around. There are no chairs, so I carefully seat on the edge of his bed. Merlin, it’s weird (I never sat on his bed before.) It feels strangely intimate and inviting.

“Did you expect the vampire’s chambers and a bed with gargoyles?”

I shake my head. I don’t see him as a vampire before everything anymore. Watching Baz drinking blood didn’t push me away it just pulled me closer. I was so happy that he finally trusted me enough to show the real him. I wish I could be this the same brave, but I was am never as brave as Baz.

“I thought… I thought your bed will be bigger.” I slide back a little bit, making myself more comfortable.

“Why?” Baz says, his eyes never leaving me.

I shrug. “I don’t know. Don’t you sleep with others?”

“I don’t sleep with them in here,” Baz says briefly, but it’s enough for a warm wave of relief to flash over me. Maybe I will be different from everybody else. I hope I might be different.

At least now I know for sure that he rang my Love Alarm and Love Alarm couldn’t lie, especially not when someone as powerful as Baz is using it. He should like me. He should like me at least a little bit.

I want to believe that, but I can’t get Baz’s words out of my mind.

 _It’s just a hookup app, it will go away in the morning._ His words still ring inside my head as a painful reminder of what I want, but what I will never be. The moment I put his hand on my heart and felt it beating under his palm, I understood what it meant. I was ready to beg just to go wherever he was going and try to do my best to annoy him enough just to make me stay.

I am still worried that I was not good enough back at the bar. I don’t have much to offer. After all, I never did it with a bloke before. I am not as skilful as his former lovers. I barely know how to get him to kiss me again. Our last kiss was too brief and not enough to even have a _taste_ of his mouth and I am still frustrated that I didn’t push myself further or try any harder. 

What if Baz is already disappointed in me?

He doesn’t look like he wants to continue. He stands there leaning on a door frame, his hands crossed. What can I do to make him like me again? (I wish I could have him smiling. Did he ever smile at me? Maybe at Watford? I am not foolish enough to think that it’s true, back then he was mostly smirking and snarling.)

“Come here,” I say. When I start to unbutton my shirt I can feel my hands slightly shaking.

“Snow,” Baz says. “You don’t have to.”

But he still takes a few steps forward. Then he stops his hands deep down his pockets. “Was it your first time back then?”

I hate that I have to nod. I wish I had all the experience in the world to make him like me more. To make him _like me_.

“Was it any good?” I ask (I hope my voice doesn't sound desperate).

He takes a few more steps and puts his hands on my shoulders. He smirks. “Well, I appreciated the enthusiasm.”

I jerk away and Baz’s smirk disappears. His face becomes concerned for a moment. “You were exactly as I expected you to be.” He says, his voice softer.

I have no idea what he is trying to say. Was I clumsy and awful _exactly_ as he expected me to be? I frown slightly. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that I want to repay the favour,” He sinks down on his knees and moves his hands up my thighs. “If you will let me.” All I can see is the top of his head and when he looks up his silver eyes are full of fire.

“Yes,” I say. No other answer is possible, not when I am finally here with Baz. I am hard only from realizing that he is here on his knees, ready to do all kinds of things to me that I never even dreamed of.

He pushes me back and I fell down on the bed, feeling his hands sliding my trousers with my pants down. I squeeze the sheet in my fist while he takes me inside in one smooth motion, his mouth sliding up and down.

“Jesus Fucking Christ.” I breathe out. 

For a moment Baz pulls away and smirks. “You still swear like a Normal,” he says mockingly and then. “Look at me.”

I go up on my elbows and try to gather my conscious back. When I look at Baz, his mouth is bright red and his hand is where his mouth used to be.

“You were so hot in that bar.” He says, his hand only slightly stroking my cock. “But I hated that you flirted with somebody else.”

His hand stops and I arch my back, hoping I will get his grip back. He has all the power over me and we both know it.

“You were already hard before I have even started.”

I nod with frustration. What does else he expects me to be when he is right here beside me?

“Tell me you want more,” he says. There is a challenge in his voice that helps me feel more familiar. I know how to fight him. I know how to fight him really well.

I push in his hand and he squeezes me a bit more.

“Say it.” He says.

“Isn’t it obvious?” I go up on my elbows, meeting his eyes looking right at me. But this time I can finally recognize his insecurity behind the challenge. Maybe I was wrong, maybe it’s not about fighting at all. Maybe it’s about something else entirely, something much bigger.

“Don’t you know?” I sit up and carefully thread my fingers through his hair. (I was dreaming to do that for a long time.) “I always want more… if it’s you.” 

Baz takes a sharp breath in. He doesn’t say anything else, but when he swallows me back it's even more intense than before. His every movement is perfect and I bite the back of my hand as not to moan too loud.

I want to hold back, I don’t want to embarrass myself coming too quickly, but in reality, it takes only a few minutes.

 _Fuck._ I fall back on the bed, losing my thoughts for a moment, coming sweetly right into his mouth.

He doesn’t pull away for some time and I feel his throat tighten when he swallows.

A few moments later he comes up from his knees and sits on the bed. He is far away from me, even if he is near. I squeeze my eyes shut. When I finally opened them I find him looking away. I know I came too fast and I ruined the moment.

“Are you ok?” I ask.

He nods without looking at me.

Suddenly I am very aware of my own nakedness, my pants are somewhere on the floor and my shirt is unbuttoned. I am flushed and exposed compared to him. Baz is still wearing his clothes, his hair back to the perfect order, as if I haven’t touched it at all.

“Why didn’t we do it before?” I desperately clench over every passing moment. Baz looks like nothing happened and I am afraid that if I won’t say anything I will feel the same way too.

“You mean at the bar?”

I shake my head. Now I can see clearly that my longing for him isn’t new. It was there before. It was always there. 

“I mean at Watford,” I say. I sit up and reach for his hand. Of course, he didn’t like me back at Watford. I don’t think that it’s possible. I am not that drunk and I am not that delusional. But I still say, “We could have done all of it back then.”

Baz’s face stays cold. “You are drunk, Snow.” Our touch lasts less than a few seconds before he takes his hand away.

“Maybe I am.” I tilt back and stare at the ceiling. I am dizzy as if I’m falling down and nothing holds me back anymore. I don’t want to believe that Baz was right. In the end, was it was just a one night stand and nothing more?

I feel empty and exhausted and when I close my eyes the whole world disappears. A few moments later Baz throws a blanket on me and I realize that I fell asleep. The room is already dark and I can barely see his silhouette in a door frame.

“Can I stay the night?” I mumble.

“I thought you already assumed that you can.” His voice sounds mocking, but also a bit soft. “Go ahead, I will sleep on the couch.”

“No,” I say sleepily. “Stay with me. Please.”

“Am I delusional or is the great Simon Snow finally asking for things instead of just taking them?” Baz approaches the bed and sits on the edge near me. He is wearing his pyjamas and I realize that I must have been asleep for some time. 

“I’m not great. I have barely any magic left inside of me.”

“Of course you are. And it’s not about magic at all.” His hand comes to my face, removing one of the strands from my forehead. His touch feels so light and quick and it’s over before I can realize what is happening.

“Move over.” He says and I go to the side trying to take as little space as possible. I want to stay the night. I want to fall asleep next to him. 

Baz lays down near me and I wait for the right moment to find his hand under the blanket. “I need to tell you something,” I say.

Baz growls. “Go to sleep.”

“It’s about Love Alarm.”

“Really, Snow-“ He turns around and pulls me closer. I feel his breath brushing my neck. “Shut up. We have this now. Nothing else matters.”

He is hugging me from behind and I lean into his touch. I feel warm and safe and I want to have this moment forever. When I am falling asleep there is one thing that I try to focus on and to say out loud, but it just keeps on slipping right through my fingers.

____

I wake up the next morning in Baz’s arms. I immediately remember what happened.

I carefully slip out, trying to not wake him up. First thing I do is reach for my phone and check my Love Alarm. One heart is still there. _Merlin and Morgana_. He lied about everything. He lied about this being just a one-night stand. He still likes me and it wasn’t about sex at all.

He made me doubt my own app, he made me doubt myself. I know, I should be angry with him, but instead I am so bloody happy. _Baz likes me._ Now, when I finally believe in the power of Love Alarm again it’s easier to imagine that he used to like me before. Maybe he liked me for a long time.

I stare at him for some time. I wish he could tell me the truth, I wish he trusted me enough to be able not to pretend. Because then I wouldn’t have to pretend either.

Merlin, for someone so smart, Baz is so unbelievably stupid.

I quietly put my clothes on and sneak out to the living room. Outside the window, a day is only starting. The screen of my phone shines brightly in the grey morning light.

I dial Penny and wait for a few signals till she picks up.

“Don’t ever call me again at six in the morning on a Saturday,” her voice sounds grumpy.

“I think I like Baz,” I breathe out.

“Halle- _fucking_ -lujah! Congratulations! Can I go to sleep now?”

“You knew?!” I say in surprise.

“I knew since our seventh year at Watford when you made me watch all of his football games.”

I stop for a moment. I remember Baz running on the field in his football shorts. I remember him smirking at me, pushing his long hair back. _Yes, I definitely liked Baz back then._

“He rang my Love Alarm,” I say, my voice is proud.

“Amazing! Was that the only reason for calling me at six in the morning?”

I breath in, “I need your help.”

There is a pause on the other side. I almost imagine Penny putting on her glasses.

“Simon Snow Salisbury!” Penny hisses. “Don’t tell me that you still have your Shield on.”

Of course, Penny guesses right. I stay silent for a moment. I didn’t know that her voice would sound so scary.

The Shield was a special addition for Love Alarm that I developed when I was dating Agatha. I couldn’t ring her Love Alarm and back then I didn’t know if it was because my magic was so weak or simply because I didn’t love her enough.

Every day it was too painful of a reminder of two things I missed the most in my life – love and magic. I was never good at neither, I simply thought I didn’t have them in me. That’s when I came up with the idea of the Shield. The Shield was a secret feature, it was protecting my heart so that I could never ring someone else’s Love Alarm. Back then it was easier to cut it off completely than to doubt myself every single day of my life.

“Can you remove it?” I say. “You were the one to help me install it back then.”

Penny sighs. “I thought you removed it a long time ago. What was the point of approaching Baz if you still have your Shield on? Can you imagine how hard it was for _him_?”

I remember talking to Baz about Love Alarm over and over again. I remember him avoiding the topic. Because he thought his feelings were one-sided. Because he thought I didn’t like him.

“I am so dumb,” I say.

“You are not,” Penny says, her voice getting softer. “We can remove it. We just need access to our backups at the office.”

“Really?” I feel myself breathing easier for the first time in a while. “Will you help me?”

“Will be there in an hour.”

“Will be there in an hour too,” I say reaching for my jacket.

“Wait,” Penny’s voice sounds suspicious. “Where are you now? I thought your hotel is right near the office.”

I take a pause. “I am at Baz’s place.”

“Why did I even ask? Of course, you are. Tell me all the details later. Actually, no, forget it. I really don’t want to know. I’m bringing our old Watford rule back, you can talk to me about Baz, but only for half an hour.”

I smile into the phone. But then something tags on my heart and I frown. “Penny,” I say. “What if it won’t work? What if I don’t have it in me.”

“It’s you and Baz,” She says it like it’s a real thing. Like we _are_ an item. “And it’s my magic in that application.”

“But I don’t think there is enough magic left in me.”

“You know there is. You just have to believe it.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG, this is the last chapter! I am so excited! A special thanks to my beta Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire for helping me with this story and especially for pushing me with writing more scenes into this last chapter <3
> 
> Dear Carry On fans, thanks for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commenting, it made me so happy along the way <3 <3 <3  
> If you want, you can come say hi to me on [Tumblr](https://mybluebucketofsnow.tumblr.com/) :3

**Baz**

Simon slips away in the morning. He sneaks out of the bed, out of my arms, while I pretend that I am still sleeping. It’s easier that way. After all, it was very stupid to believe that our one night stand could have been something more or make us into something more than just two people passing each other by.

When he leaves the room, I turn my back to the door, because it’s easier that way. I even try to fall back asleep, but I can’t. I bloody miss him _already_ and it has only been a few minutes. I imagine myself stepping outside, chasing him and begging him to stay. I can bribe him. I can promise him breakfast or blowjob or anything at all that might make him stay a bit longer.

But I don’t let myself follow my poor imagination, not because I am proud, but because I don’t want to embarrass both of us. Deep down I know, if he really wants to leave there is nothing I can do to stop him.

I hear his muffled voice in the living room and I can’t believe that he’s chosen here and now to talk with _somebody else_ on the phone. I don’t care who that is, I just wish he would already finish and leave. To hear his voice is enough of torture already, to know he is in the next room is simply unbearable. 

A few minutes later Snow’s rumblings on the phone are over and I expect him to finally step outside and leave my apartment, but instead, he comes back.

He steps in the bedroom and I hold my breath. I don’t have my hopes high, he probably just forgot his socks or something equally stupid. 

Snow comes to my bed and I can feel his light touch on my shoulder. “Are you asleep?” He asks softly.

I feel irritated. If he is here just to say goodbye then this is a bloody stupid idea, I hate goodbyes and I hate this particular goodbye more than anything else.

“What do you want, Snow?” I say grumpily without turning around. 

“I need to go to the office, I am sorry.” 

I almost roll my eyes. It’s Saturday and he is a bloody CEO of his company and if he wanted to stay, he could have just simply _stayed_ , instead of coming up with the lame excuses. 

“I left you a note in the living room.” Snow says next and I want to explain where he can shove his bloody note, but suddenly his hand moves through my hair the same way as it did yesterday and my anger immediately disappears, while I try not to melt completely under his touch. I am pathetic enough to believe that if I will stay still long enough this moment will last forever and Snow will never leave.

But of course, he does, he takes his hand away and I know this last touch was his goodbye. I don’t want to turn his way, I don’t want to know what he looks like when he is leaving. But I still do, because I’m weak and because I need this last image of him, something to hold on to when he will be finally gone, even if it’s just a silhouette of his back before he disappears behind the door.

He goes away quickly without looking back, this time his steps echo through the living room and he is immediately gone outside with the loud thud of the door.

I stay in bed for some time. I forbid myself to fall apart. At this point, I should have learned how to not crumble over Simon Snow. Yes, my bed still smells like him and there is still his headprint on my cushion, but it’s not for long. I will change my sheets and I will open the window and all reminders of our night together will disappear. I try to convince myself that this is the right thing to do because I can’t afford to hold on to the remains of his presence forever, I am simply not that strong. I need to let him go and I need to protect myself. After all, I’ve promised myself a long time ago that Simon Snow won’t break my heart ever again. 

I climb out of the bed eventually. I do my usual routine in the bathroom and I even cook myself breakfast. Did I fantasize just a few hours ago that I will cook breakfast for both of us? I try to make myself believe that I didn’t. I finish my boring porridge and wash the dishes, I do the laundry and take out the trash. Finally, I reach for the bottle of blood in my fridge, but when I take the first sip it immediately takes me back. I remember how Snow was watching me — as if he wasn’t afraid at all, as if he finally was ready to accept the real me.

Well, I was wrong.

Eventually, I make myself look at his note. I still remember how awkward his handwriting used to be and it’s surprisingly soothing to see that it didn’t improve at all. I grin despite myself and then forcefully pull myself together to try to focus on its meaning. 

_“Please come in the evening. I will be waiting for you. Simon.”_ And there is an address written below. 

My eyes run through the note a few times and I slam it back on the table. I was expecting another cheesy goodbye, but _this_ is even worse. Simon fucking Snow. Why can’t you just leave me alone?

I am not your servant, I am not your puppet on a string and I am sure as hell not your bloody booty call opportunity. 

I pace nervously through the room my heart beating with anger and excitement. I mean, of course, I am not going anywhere, but still...

I look up the address online. Just in case. Just to be sure that it exists and this note is not a cruel joke. And then my heart sinks. The tiny light of happiness inside of me dies. The address in the note is to the Love Alarm office. Of fucking course. Simon Snow just needs me there to test his bloody app again.

“Fuck you, Snow,” I say to the note. And then I sneer before crumbling it up. Because that’s exactly what I am going to do. I am going to that office because I am pathetic enough to finally accept that I still want him no matter what. I know, I will end up with a broken heart once again but at least I will get some fucking out of it. He can play his own game and I will play mine. 

With that in mind, I spend the next half an hour going through my wardrobe. I try to find something stylish, yet something that will clearly state that there is a line between being fuck buddies and lovers and that I am not going to cross that line anytime soon. I need to protect my heart and going casual is the best I can do. Snow seems to only be interested in experimenting and that’s exactly what he gets from me. He’ll never know that I want more. 

***

A few hours later I stand near the glass doors of the Love Alarm office. It’s already dark and it’s cold, but it’s easier to stay outside than trying to convince myself to step in. Snow might not even be there and even if he is, this still might be a bloody trick that Chosen One is planning to play on me. I bet it’s something to do with the Love Alarm, if not why else would he invite me to come to his office?

I am here to play my own game, not Snow’s and there is only one thing I can do to spoil his plans. I pull out my phone and tap a few times on the screen to remove Love Alarm before stepping in. (You won’t hurt me anymore, Simon Snow.)

Suddenly everything feels easier. I grin. Without Love Alarm pressure pulling me down, I can just enjoy Snow’s company here and now and not care about the consequences at all. I can take whatever he is willing to give even if it’s the smallest thing possible.

Still, there is a shadow of doubt in my heart. The whole building looks lifeless and empty and while I wait for the elevator it is easier and easier to believe that there is nobody here at all. That’s why when the elevator finally arrives I almost crush into the person inside. I catch the glimpse of purple hair and take a step back.

“Bunce,” I say. “What a pleasant surprise.” Of course, it’s not pleasant and it’s not exactly a surprise either, because who else can you expect to run into when you step inside Simon Snow’s office.

“Baz,” She nods. “Are you here to see Simon?”

Crowley, now even Bunce knows that I am pathetic enough to follow Snow around. 

“Does he always make you work on the weekends?” I ask her with menace.

“Not always,” Bunce narrows her eyes. “But I had to help Simon with a special project.”

“New version of the hookup app?” I raise my eyebrow.

Bunce takes a step closer, her nostrils flaring. “It’s not about hookup, it’s about love. But then again, what does Baz Pitch know about love and affection? Right?” She says, her voice suddenly angry. “He cares only about hookups or at least he thinks he does.”

“Me? What about Snow?” I sneer. “He is the one who asked me to come over.”

“I _know_.”

I look at her carefully. “What else do you know?”

She frowns. “It’s not my place to tell. Somehow you think that this is all Simon’s fault. That he ran away or something. But let me remind you that never once have you visited him in the States, or called, or even wrote him a message.”

“He didn’t want me there. And he _did_ run away.”

“And you didn’t stop him. You are so full of it, Basilton Pitch. You have no idea how Simon’s life used to be. You have no idea what he’s been through.” She pauses to give me another angry stare. “I had to drag him to that bar to give you a chance to finally fix everything and what did you do? You let him go. _Again_. So listen to me carefully when I say it slowly. Don’t fuck it up tonight, Pitch.”

I beam at her. “Right,” I say. “Sure.”

She nods. “Third floor on the left. He is waiting.”

I feel my throat tightens. “Does he?”

Bunce rolls her eyes and pushes me lightly in the direction of the elevator. “Go already.”

I step inside and when the elevator doors close for a moment there is only panic. Everything that Bunce said hits me hard. She is right, I never tried. I never really tried to do _anything_. I thought that Snow had his life in the States sorted out, that he never needed me there, but in reality, the sad truth was that it was me who wasn’t brave enough. I never took my chance with him, either at Watford nor later when I could follow him to the States. I take a deep breath in. Can I be brave enough now?

I arrive on the third floor and look around the dark office. It looks completely empty. Did Bunce play a joke on me? Finally, I notice a small square of light in the far right corner. Is it Snow’s desk right there? I feel my heart beating faster.

 _Don’t fuck it up_ , I repeat Bunce’s words to myself while I move towards him with the unsteady steps. He sits behind his laptop, looking pale and tired. I frown. It seems that Snow wasn’t lying earlier about his need to be at the office. Did he spend the whole day here? Did he have lunch? Doesn’t he have anyone to remind him that he shouldn’t work so bloody much?

“Snow,” I call out to him mildly, “Hi.”

“Baz!” He looks up and suddenly his face crumbles with the dreadful expression. And all too late I realize that Bunce was lying. He didn’t wait for me here at all. In fact, he looks so nervous and terrified that I am almost ready to excuse myself and leave.

“Why… Why didn’t your Love Alarm ring?” He asks his voice worried. I look at him with surprise. We both know the reason. Nothing changed since yesterday. Nothing will ever change. So why does he have to bring it up over and over again? But at least this time I don’t have to care at all. 

“Please tell me you have your sound off.” He says.

“Even better,” I smirk. “I removed your stupid app altogether.”

Snow stands up, his face pale. “What? _Why?_ ”

 _Be brave_ , I repeat to myself. I go around the table approaching Snow in a few quick steps. I trap him near his desk and I can still see his worried eyes, but they widen with a surprise as I move closer and closer.

“Is it why you invited me here?” I put my hand on the back of his head and brush slightly through his hair.

He gulps. “Yes, but- “ I don’t let him finish.

I crash my lips over his. His mouth is stiff at first, but he quickly gives up as I carefully move my lips and I slide my tongue in. _Crowley_ , he tastes amazing. I silently blame myself for not doing it properly earlier. But now we finally have time. And I can do _anything_.

I bite his lower lip slightly and move just a few inches away pressing my forehead to his.

“Even if you will disappear in the morning I don’t care.” I close my eyes, feeling his breath brushing my skin. I choose him over my fear, I choose him even if it's just a casual thing. I choose him because there is no other way.

He shifts, suddenly covering my mouth with his and I gasp with surprise. Simon Snow is finally kissing _me_. What starts as a mere touch of his lips quickly transforms into something almost wild. He is attacking my mouth in such a desperate way as if it’s a fight we are having. I clench my fist in his hair and I pull him in a bit more. His tongue moves in my mouth and I lick him back. It’s as if we both fall into one dream.

I kiss him for what feels like forever because I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to hear what he has to say and more than anything else I am afraid he will pull back, so instead, I pull back myself. We are both breathing hard and I am almost destroyed. I want to keep things casual, to not get hurt, but I know too bloody well I would never be able to pick myself back together. From this point on there is no turning back.

“If you want this to be more than a one-time thing,” I say quickly, before thinking everything through, before changing my mind. “We need to set up some ground rules.”

“More than a one-time thing?” Snow frowns. “What rules?”

“Rule number one, don’t give me a booty call through the bloody note.” I pause. “ I have a phone for that.”

His eyes brighten up. “Will you give me your number?”

“Yes, I will. Rule number two-”

“Rule number two, you call me _Simon_.” He leans closer and smiles. And this is a kind of smile I never saw before in my life, at least not directed at me. It’s like sunshine suddenly falling over you on a rainy day. It's like a miracle I can’t comprehend, not combined with the word _Simon_ still ringing in my ears.

And then he catches me out of guard and kisses me again and when his tongue slides back in mouth I suppress a low growl.

“Any more rules?” He asks with a grin a few moments later.

“Snow-”

He raises an eyebrow, “Simon.”

I look at his perfect mouth. I want to go back to kissing him. But I need to finish. I need to say it out loud. “And we don’t talk about Love Alarm anymore.”

He looks up, his eyes pitching me. “And if I will agree, then what?”

“Then we will fuck, Snow. Or I will give you a blowjob. Or whatever thing that you want _this_ to be.” I point between him and me.

“And if I won’t?”

I take a step back. “I know where the exit is.”

“Baz,” he says, “Stop. Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Why do you pretend that _this_ is not real?”

“Is it though?” I try to say it with irony, but my voice sounds painful.

He looks me in the eyes. “Why do you hate Love Alarm so much? Don’t you believe in anything that I do?” His voice sounds almost hurt and his pain strikes right through me.

I pause. “I believe it too bloody much to know that what you just said can’t be true. I’m not an idiot”, I say although maybe it’s exactly what I am for being here with my heart unprotected. I give him what I hope is a nonchalant look. ”You haven’t rung my Love Alarm.”

His face tenses. “I had a Shield. I had a Shield in my app. That’s why I didn’t ring your Love Alarm. But I removed it. I just removed it. Penny helped me.” He talks almost in a panic, almost as if he won’t speak fast enough I won’t believe that his words are true.

“A Shield in your app?” I repeat like a moron.

“Yes, it’s like protection. So that I can never ring anyone’s Love Alarm. Because you see, I am a failure, I don’t have enough magic in me. I was afraid to have a reminder of that each day.”

He is sad. He doesn’t even look at me when he talks. Maybe I need more time to process what he just said. But it doesn’t matter, not when there is a more urgent matter of Chosen One falling apart right in front of me.

I don’t give it a second thought. I take a step closer and pull him into a hug.

“You are not a failure, Simon,” I whisper into his ear. “And I don’t care what Love Alarm will say. We can try it out wherever you are ready or never at all. I don’t care. I don’t need proof that you like me. I don’t need anything at all.” We stay like that for some time and I can feel his warm breath over my shoulder. I hope he knows that I meant every word that I said. Because of course, he is not a failure, he achieved so bloody much and my only regret is that I haven’t been with him every step of the way. 

“I’m sorry that I ran away.” He whispers in my ear and it’s almost as if he can read my thoughts. Yet, I shouldn’t be surprised Simon always knew what I am all about.

“I’m sorry that I let you go.” I rub my cheek over his and pull him closer. “I should have chased you to the States.”

Simon’s grip on my waist is getting tighter, he almost crushes himself into me.

“No. We were not ready for each other back then.” Simon says and his voice sounds different. It’s this new version of him that I still need to get used to. He is confident in a way one might be after going through trials. After going through life. After growing up, “But we are now. And… And I am so damn proud of you, Baz. You made everyone accept who you really are. You never gave up.”

He pulls away and looks at me in his serious way and somehow my breath hitches. I didn’t know how important it was for me to hear him saying that.

“I am proud of you too, of everything you have accomplished.”

His posture is going tensed. “I didn’t accomplish anything. It’s just how the Mage said. I am a sad excuse for a magician.”

“Hey!” I shake his shoulders slightly. “You are brilliant. You are the Chosen One. There is a good reason why your app is so popular. Can’t you see, you made everyone believe in love again.” 

“Even you?” He asks carefully. “Does it mean you will install Love Alarm back?”

“Should I?” I bring his chin up and examine his eyes carefully. I’m afraid to see the trace of doubt. The trace of unhappiness. But his eyes are the same as I remember them to be — sky blue, brave and earnest. 

“I want to try it now.” He says, “But before anything happens. Whatever it will be. This is not a one-time thing. We are dating. Do you hear me?”

I swallow the node in my throat. Then I nod. “We are dating.”

It takes me a few moments to install the app back. We sit shoulder to shoulder on his desk, our hands holding our phones. Simon is serious. I think I am getting used to this new grown-up version of him. I think I might love this version of him even more.

Before running the app I squeeze his waist and pull him closer. “I can’t wait to take you back to my place and do all kinds of improper things to you.”

“Even if it won’t ring?”

I give him a long look. “Where are you staying?”

“A hotel around the corner.”

“Splendid,” I say. “You are moving to my place tonight.”

“Baz,” He says, his voice worried. “Didn’t you hear me just now? What if it won’t work?”

“If it won’t work we will try again tomorrow and then the day after that and day after that. But I won’t let you use it as an excuse to get away anymore.”

Finally, Simon smiles, “You are crazy.”

“Is it yes?” I raise an eyebrow. “Do you agree to move in?”

He takes a phone from my hands and I think that he will open Love Alarm to check it before giving the answer but I am wrong. Instead, he puts the phone on the table screen down.

Then he hops off from the desks and stands opposite from me, his hands on my shoulders.

He gives me a full-on smile. “You’ve just asked me to move in and you expect me to say no? You can’t get rid of me that easily. Of course, I agree.”

He steps in between my knees, forcing me to spread them wider and I lift my head to meet his mouth halfway. Simultaneously I slide to the end of the table, our bodies colliding with friction. Simon grinds back at me, while his mouth attacks mine with the strength and eagerness that only Simon Snow has. A wave of pleasure goes through my core and I moan as the friction between our bodies increases. Crowley, a few more minutes of this and I might come in my pants.

I unplaster myself from Simon and hear him groan with dissatisfaction.

“You are too good at distracting me,” I say. I’m mostly panting in between words and it’s a bit embarrassing.

Simon bends down to my ear. “There is a lavatory in the office and I think I still owe you a favour.”

I swallow. I think I might be ready to explore this public sex kink that Simon apparently has. I’m ready to explore anything with him. But I also know that there is one more thing we need to do to put his heart at ease.

I take a deep breath in. 

“Let’s check Love Alarm first,” I say.

Simon freezes. Then he nods slowly. I think he is still tense, but I want him to know that he doesn’t have to worry. Not when he is with me.

“I care about you.” I say, “Never your magic. I loved you through all these years and I always knew how bloody special you are.” Suddenly I make myself stop. What am I doing? Does he even want to hear about my feelings? I don’t want to scare him off. I silently take my phone and tap the Love Alarm icon.

Simon covers my screen with his hand and leans closer to me.

“Say it again,” He says his voice hoarse. “That you love me.”

I look at him with surprise. “I thought it was obvious. You saw the proof on your screen before.”

“It’s not the same as hearing _you_ say it.” He pauses. Then he takes a deep breath in. “Baz, can’t you see, I was so obsessed with you back at Watford. I was following you around everywhere.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I thought you hated me.”

“I thought so too. But all these seven years when I didn't have you around… It was torture. I was happy to hear the smallest rumour about you, the smallest story. I was dying to know how you are. And then I saw you at the wedding a year ago. And you didn’t ring my Love Alarm- I was devastated. I drank myself to shambles.”

I frown. I remember that wedding well. I had to spend the whole day shopping, hoping to find a perfect suit to make Simon notice me. But I never thought he did. “I am sorry,” I say. “I didn’t have the app installed back then.”

Simon shakes his head. “It was another proof, but I wasn’t able to recognize my feelings back then. Only after seeing you again at that bar I was able to understand that it wasn’t hate, that it wasn’t an obsession. I was in love with you all along.”

I gasp for the air, my heart aching. He takes his hand away from the screen of my phone, but I don’t look down there. I look at his face instead. 

“I love you too, Simon Snow Salisbury.”

A few moments pass and I can see a reflection of pink in his eyes. He blinks, his shoulders losing their tension.

Then he reaches for his phone this time and flushes it on. He smiles at me. “I missed seeing your heart on my screen.

 _To hell with it._ “I missed seeing your heart on my screen too.” It’s easy to say it out loud, now that it’s there.

“Back in the bar when I saw you ring my Love Alarm for the first time, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to keep on checking my phone to know it’s true.” He says his cheeks turning pink.

Crowley, he is so adorable. I grin.

“Now there is a reason for me to check mine all the time too.”

Simon takes my phone from my hands and stares at the screen for some time, then he puts it away.

“You don’t have to check it all the time. My heart… It was always meant to be there. And it won’t go away in the morning. It will never go away.” He says and I pull him back in my arms.

My phone hopelessly illuminates the space with a mild blue light for a few more minutes, desperately trying to attract our attention with a pink beating heart. But eventually, it gives up, gradually going back into the unnoticeable quiet dark.

My hands slide down Simon’s waist to his arse and I cup slightly, while my mouth goes back to kissing him. I am hard in an instant and when I pull him closer I feel that he is hard too. He grinds on me, his movements hectic and wild while I’m pressed between his hot body and the edge of the desk.

“Lavatory.” Simon breathes out. “Now.”

I bite on his earlobe and hear him moan. “Not so fast.” If Simon has a public sex kink then I am ready to go with it as far as I can.

“Why should we go to the lavatory,” I say in his ear, my voice low. “When I know you want to do it here.”

For a moment Simon tenses and I think maybe I took it too far. “Do you?” I ask carefully, just in case.

He clenches my shoulders and grinds on me even harder. “Yes,” He says. “Fuck, Baz. _Yes._ ”

Hearing him swear shoots right through all the way to my cock and I don’t need any more encouragement than that. 

**_“There’s nothing to see here!”_ ** I cast just in case. I don’t have my wand with me, but this spell is simple enough to do with my magic only.

Then I swap us around so that now it’s Simon who is pressed to the edge of the desk and I stand in front of him. It’s been already far too long since I held his cock in my hands and I can’t wait to finally touch it again.

“Is it ok?” I ask, reaching for his zipper. Simon nods and I kiss him hard before unzipping him and sliding my hand inside his trousers and pants. Simon moans.

Crowley, he’s hot. He is hot _in there_ too and I almost moan myself. Dry humping Simon is one thing, but holding his cock in my hand is something entirely different.

I almost slide to my knees, but Simon doesn’t let go of me.

“No,” He says, his voice hoarse. “I want you to feel good too.”

“Who said I won’t feel good while sucking you?” I raise my eyebrow and Simon’s face flushes red, but he still stubbornly shakes his head.

“No,” He says again softly, but with determination. “I want to see you losing it too.” I clench my jaw. Can’t he see that I am losing it all just from touching him? But his hand is already fumbling with my belt and when he's finally done he pulls me closer by the neck so that I have to lean on the edge of the desk with my hands. My face is close to him and he bites my lower lip. Then his hand slides inside my pants and he’s stroking me and I am fairly positive that even if I had some objections earlier they already disappeared the moment his hand got wrapped around my cock.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, his voice worried. He puts my hand atop of his, holding my cock and his movement slows down. “I want you to show me how to do it better.”

He looks at me with the expectation as if there is a universe where I won’t be satisfied with everything he is doing. I almost came from him finally touching me, how can it be any better than this?

But I still wrap both of our hands around my pulsating cock. I make him squeeze it tighter and say, “Move faster.”

The new movement of his hand almost sends me to heaven and I bit on my lower lip.

“Is this the correct approach, Professor?” He says and as my mind registers what he is saying I push harder into his fist.

“Crowley.” I breathe out. “ _Simon_.”

He smashes our lips together, still holding on to my cock. Then Simon tugs a few times more times, and then he stops, his expression smug. “Do you have anything more to teach me, Professor?”

Aleister fucking Crowley, he even knows my science degree and uses it as part of a role-play. This is Simon Snow I never knew before.

I pull him by his neck and lick it up to his ear, feeling him shudder under my touch. “I see you know a lot about my life.” 

“Haven’t I told you already? I’ve been obsessed with you for the past seven years.” He pants and I devour his mouth again. Every single thing that he says almost brings me to the edge.

Our cocks grind again against one another, but this time it’s our bare skin. Simon gasps and I grin, eventually my hand sleeping between us, wrapping our cocks together. I move it up and down, increasing friction.

“Shit,” Simon says, “I think I’m coming.”

But I already explode before he finishes the line and then he comes too and there are only our heavy breathing and millions of stars behind my lids. I pull him closer, not caring about the mess in between our bodies and hug him, burying my face somewhere in between his neck and his shoulder.

“Am I mistaking or did you come first?” Simon says to me teasingly, his voice still shaking. Crowley, is it really the first thing that he has to ask?

“Yes,” I say, I reach closer to his ear. “And I want you to think about it first thing when you see this desk on Monday.”

“Christ,” Simon shivers and I like it when he swears like a Normal, it reminds me of the old times, but now it’s even better because he is finally mine. “ _Yes_.”

We stay close like that for some time, my heart beating against his in the same rhythm. Eventually, I cast a cleaning spell on both of us and Simon leans on my shoulder smiling happily.

“Maybe,” Simon says thoughtfully, “I shouldn’t come to the office on Monday. Maybe I should take a small break. What do you think?”

“Can the CEO of the company do that?” I ask, lazily pulling my hand through his curls. “I thought you had to work all the time.”

“I will try.” He pauses. He bites slightly on my neck, then he says unsurely. “Can you take a small break too? Is it possible?”

I think about my curriculums and my students. But maybe I can switch a few lessons with other teachers and then I can take Simon to our family house in Spain. I imagine the sun and seaside and the possibility of having him by my side for the whole week. And then when we are back I can even him for longer. I breathe in his smell and nod. 

”Yes,” I say and feel Simon smile against my neck.

My arm is wrapped around him and I think that now that we are finally here and happy I’m never letting him go.

  
  
  


The End.


End file.
